My Ex from Hell (The Blooming Goddess Trilogy #1)
By Tellulah Darling
Released: April 1, 2013
Publisher: Te Da Publishing
Paperback, 272 pages
Sixteen-year-old Sophie Bloom wishes she’d been taught the following:
a) Bad boy’s presence (TrOuBlE) + teen girl’s brain (DraMa) = TrAuMa (Highly unstable and very volatile.)
b) The Genus Greekulum Godissimus is notable for three traits: 1) awesome abilities, 2) grudges, and 3) hook-ups, break-ups, and in-fighting that puts cable to shame.
Prior to the Halloween dance, Sophie figures her worst problems involve adolescent theatrics, bitchy yoga girls, and being on probation at her boarding school for mouthy behaviour. Then she meets bad boy Kai and gets the kiss that rocks her world.
This breath stealing lip lock reawakens Sophie’s true identity: Persephone, Goddess of Spring. She’s key to saving humanity in the war between the Underworld and Olympus, target numero uno of Hades and Zeus, and totally screwed.
Plus there’s also the little issue that Sophie’s last memory as Persephone was just before someone tried to murder her.
Big picture: master her powers, get her memories back, defeat Persephone’s would be assassin, and save the world. Also, sneak into the Underworld to retrieve stolen property, battle the minions of Hades and Zeus, outwit psycho nymphs, slay a dragon, rescue a classmate, keep from getting her butt expelled from the one place designed to keep her safe …
… and stop kissing Kai, Prince of the Underworld.
My Ex From Hell is a romantic comedy/Greek mythology smackdown. Romeo and Juliet had it easy. --Goodreads
When a book is hilarious and a total riot, it's hard to not want to give it a five star review. Initially, I was so excited and flipped out after I finished My Ex from Hell that I reread it at least three times. That was how much I adored this book. It's a pretty new thing for me.
Then as I tried to explain the funny moments in this review, I realized that I couldn't describe the basic plot line of this book. The reason why? There is no definite plot for My Ex from Hell; instead this is more of a humorous introduction the screwed up world Sophie, the reincarnation of Persephone, will have to face in the later books. So because of the hard to describe plot, I decided that although the enjoyment level of this book is a frikkin' 100000000000000000000000/5, this book depressingly deserves the rating above.
First off, I would like to state the fact that Sophie doesn't kiss Kai many times in this book. Whatever this hilarious blurb above hints is completely inaccurate and deserves to be sued for its lies. This book isn't focusing on the whole Persephone is the key to save the world blah blah blah because of Zeus and Hades' little monopoly game. There is an entirely different mystery out there in the works that is the priority of My Ex from Hell. Sorry, but whoever wrote this blurb seriously needs to focus on its contents rather than the humor (it's humorous, but...).
One of the major concerns that comes when reading this book is the plot, as mentioned before. Not only does the plot not follow the epic blurb above, but it mindlessly meanders for a giant chunk of the novel. It goes from 'Persephone, so what?' to 'You kissed whom?' to 'Persephone fighting robots' to 'Persephone's memories' to yada yada yada. It is nice that everything isn't laid out easily for the readers to discover, except it has the events of the book shoddily pieced together. Things are quite disjointed and puzzling, so it's probably best to take a step back and relax while reading.
Despite its somewhat shifty and unsettling plot, My Ex from Hell is a spellbinding book that will rock your socks off. Sophie is a one of a kind narrator who is a bit superficial, but that is what makes her endearing. She begins as an awkward, yet confident girl who blossoms as Persephone incarnate. Sophie's moments of vanity are ridiculous and could be considered atrocious. Somehow, Sophie manages to pull it off because she never tries to be someone she isn't. It is really strange how a vain character can be so likable because usually I get put off by a character who boasts that she isn't pretty, even though she is blonde, blue-eyed, heart-shaped face, and all of this other crap. If you don't think that you're attractive, then stop talking about your appearance is the advice I'm giving all protagonists. At the beginning, Sophie doesn't believe that she is pretty, but it's twisted humorously, making it all the more adorable when she gloats over her new-found beauty.
Honestly, I was bit confused about the romance that was supposed to be here. Once again the misleading blurb strikes again. There isn't really too much development between Sophie and Kai, making it somewhat awkward when those moments happen. Because of this, it is hard to root for this couple that we are supposed to root for. Even though there are the cute bickering moments that are the new "cool" for YA novels, there isn't really much going for this pairing. When Kai tells Sophie that he will be willing to love her because she looks more like Persephone, my heart burst with pride when Sophie rejected his advances. It's so repulsive when a guy sucks at flirting and still attempts to. Sorry Kai, but you could do way better than that if you're that dream-worthy.
Although there are a few flaws within My Ex from Hell, they could not offset the blast I had while reading it. All of the characters possess a flicker of humor that crackles on each page. As so many reviewers have said, they probably haven't laughed this hard in a long time while reading a book. The same goes for me here because Tellulah Darling has every character popping a witty or dumb line that emphasizes their their personality. It seems impossible that a dumb line could be that great, but when a vain antagonist spouts some crap, there is nothing better when the protagonists fry their dumb brains with something even cheesier. Corny, it is, but the chuckles will come guaranteed.
So you, the reader, are confused over whether or not to give this a try... Telling you now, READ THIS! My 3.5 review does not reflect how much I LOVED THIS BOOK! Its flaws are insignificant compared to the euphoria that this book will give the reader. The shaky plot and convoluted romance is no match to the epic characters and their one-liners that will one day rule the world of Hades and beyond. Besides even if you're not one for paranormal, suck it up. When you all begin sobbing because of refusing to give My Ex from Hell a try, you'll know that all of us lovers of this book will be partying when My Date from Hell comes out this August.